The Naperville Rib Festival

So on Friday I was enjoying a cold, post-work Goose Island Pale Ale with my friend Josh when I happened to see something out of the corner of my eye that stopped me mid-sentence. For a split second I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. But no! I took a closer look at the free entertainment weekly on the table between us, and it was then that I saw it. The pairing of the two most magical words I have ever seen together in my life:

RIB FESTIVAL.

I immediately sent a text to CrossFood HQ in New York City to try to explain the magnitude of the situation. RIB FESTIVAL. Seconds later I received a response.

"Why didn't you tell us this weeks ago when we could have booked a flight?"

Sometimes living in the midwest has its rewards.

So on Sunday morning, armed with a smug sense of geographical superiority and a bag full of sunblock and wet wipes, the meatiest person I know and I hopped in the car and made the hour long drive to the 2007 Naperville Rib Festival.

The first thing I am going to tell you about CrossFood's experience at the RIB FESTIVAL is: this event is not cheap. $10 to park within comfortable walking distance to the festival (hey, it was hot!) and an additional $10 per person entrance fee later, we crossed through the magical gates of the rib festival, only to be greeted by what is probably the most expensive festival menu I have ever seen. I know, I know... many of you will look to the picture on the right and tell me that $20 is NOT too much for a slab of decent ribs, especially in Manhattan where everything costs an arm and a leg, and quality meats are worth it and what not and what for, but STILL. This is the midwest, and there were several vendors. Which leaves you really with one option: the 3 bone sampler.

With 15 different vendors serving BBQ and several more selling other festival favorites, and a modest budget at best, we had to be choosy on what we sampled. We skipped Sgt. Oink's despite it's awesome name based on the tremendous amount of military propaganda at their booth. We also bypassed two local vendors that we could get anytime and went straight for Texas Outlaws BBQ, based out of Elizabethtown, KY.

I will gloss over the obvious issues with calling yourself a "Texas Outlaw" while operating out of Kentucky and just say that the ribs were the moist, fall-off-the-bone, fatty sort of goodness that dreams are made of. Tender and moist, with a smoky-sweet sauce and just enough hints of honey to make you lick your fingers, these delicious ribs whet our appetite and left us thinking the rest of the afternoon would be wonderful.

After walking through the dusty field considering each vendor's menu, Stop #2 was at Butch's Smack Your Lips BBQ. I actually chose this vendor, mainly because they are from New Jersey and I have a soft spot for my old home state. My friend agreed as soon as he saw their sign: "Cook it low, cook it slow. Serve no swine before its time."

Butch's Smack Your Lips BBQ had a long line, a whole buffet of sauces off to the side, and what could quite possibly be the coolest trophy I have ever seen:

Not a good choice.

The ribs were tough, dry and full of gristle. The three they handed us looked more like something out of the microwave than something that had been carefully smoked over hot coals all afternoon. The albeit somewhat attractive college student who handed them to us saw our obvious disapproval at the serving and pointed to the sauce buffet, advising us to "pick whichever one we like". Thanks, buddy.

We took our sad paper dish of scrawny bones to the sauce station and opted for the medium bbq sauce. My friend, being a guy, took the first bite and immediately frowned. "I could do better than this and I don't own a grill," he declared. He tossed the half eaten rib into the dish and pushed them toward me for me to try. I tried to pull a section of what appeared to be fatty goodness off the bone and gave up in about 45 seconds when I realized it was futile. After a long discussion about rib joints and the whole concept of cooking with sauce on vs. adding your own after the fact, we tossed Butch's ribs and decided to try one more. We cleansed our palettes with root beer floats and got back in line.

Stop #3 was Pigfoot BBQ Company out of Cedar Rapids. Again, heavy on sauce over technique, but delicious all the same. Pigfoot has been "ribbing" at this festival for 13 years, and longer in other regions, and it shows. No frills, basic and classic, it was deliciously tender and moist with just enough meat to where the sampler seemed enough.

As a side note, we saw numerous people walking around with Pigfoot sandwiches all afternoon - possibly noting that their pulled pork was better than their ribs. We didn't get back in line to find out since by this point the combination of sun, country music, screaming children and bees was enough to send us back to the safe confines of the city.

So about $100 in the hole, sunstroked and queasy from the root beer float/bbq combination, we left the festival. However, I still think the words "rib festival" are two of the most glorious words in the English language.